I Left My Nips In San Francisco

Onto the post-con bandwagon :)

Thank you. Two words that get said way too much but never, ever enough at these things. There is so much we (and I) have to be grateful for in this lovely, magical land so very far from my home.

Those of you that put WEEHU together, I've decided, must be miracle workers, because I swear it was just a month or two ago that this was being announced at NEEHU. And it is my understanding that this was a pretty big challenge for the organizers, so when I think about all of the love and care and hard work that was put into this, my chest feels full of joy. This community never fails to astound me. I am beyond blessed and lucky to have shared this with you.

You are all my family away from home; the time we get to spend together bettering our minds and learning and teaching is where I feel most comfortable, most in that place Where Everybody Knows Your Name. And I hope everyone gets to feel that the way I do. There is nothing that makes me happier to see these -EEHUs popping up all over and feeling our community expand.

I'm sitting in the airport and waving SF goodbye. The city was a beautiful hostess and I am envious of those of you who get to see her more often than I.

Thank you all. I miss you all.

And to a very Wonderful Friend who may have hypnotically taken a spare pair of something intimate last night at the hotel, take care of my nipples for me.

"The Stanley Parable" and Why You Need to Play This Game RIGHT NOW

I'm sorry for spamming this EVERYWHERE but I'm goddamn out-of-my-mind excited that this game exists and is as good as it is.

I will start this by saying that The Stanley Parable and The Stanley Parable Demonstration (the free demo / prologue) is absolutely 100% the game I wanted to make to showcase psychological manipulation and trance in video games and storytelling.

Picked up the demo because I'd heard good things and immediately purchased the full game after I was through because it a) ran on my piece of shit laptop and b) was screaming NLP / Ericksonian storytelling the entire way through and I noticed myself going in and out of trance throughout the entire thing, marveling at the craftsmanship and all of the beautiful little psychological touches that make the thing so... enthralling? Compelling? Those can't be the right words... Hmm...

I don't want to give anything away, because the game seems quite clearly intended to be played from a blank slate, so to speak... And no wonder; a game I'm nerding out so hard for and posting on this specific blog... Hmm... Funny, that...

But the biggest reason I'm sharing this (and why you will most want to play the game) is revealed early on in the full version of the game, and I really really really recommend checking it out after playing the demo and not spoiling it for yourself.

I'm so excited because it totally feels like someone made this game just for us. Enjoy it, guys!

Distance Makes...

I am 100% aware that I should have been writing other things. But over the last few days this just quickly forced its way out of my brain and onto paper, more for me than anything else. But hey, I'm not one to argue when the MC-bug strikes. Porny-but-not-really-porny-fiction without any real purpose, woo!

(mc, mf, md)

--

Liz figured it would be relaxing to get the house to herself for a few days. No responsibilities, no housemates except for her beta fish; just her, space, and all the free time in the world.

By the end of the second day, she knew it wasn't doing wonders for her sanity. Gerald (the fish) had heard precisely enough of how lonely she was and how the microwave wasn't behaving and how kids on Xbox Live were douchebags.

And Jack had been working way too much, due to pop in on her sometime after dinner that night for the first time in almost a week.

REVIEW: "Mind Play: A Guide to Erotic Hypnosis" by Mark Wiseman

So... Wiseguy wrote a book.

If for some strange reason you've been living under a rock in the MCStories or hypnosis community circles, Wiseguy writes... a lot. And does, in my opinion, quite, quite well.

But Wiseguy also does his fair share of demos and presentations for various BDSM and hypnosis groups. I had the pleasure of meeting him at NEEHU4 this year (spoilers!) and attending a demonstration as well as overhearing a lecture/discussion, and I could see that he is a fantastic educator in the world of hypnokink.

Under the name Mark Wiseman, he's just published a book called “Mind Play: A Guide to Erotic Hypnosis”, and, shortly after asking if I could review it, I found myself engrossed in its 200+ pages. And, a bit after that, found myself here with a reinvigorated excitement for our community as a whole.

There are decidedly few resources for hypnosis instruction with an emphasis on Sexy Fun Times (to use a technical term). (The two existing books which come to mind are Wendi Friesen's “How to Hypnotize Your Lover” and Peter Master's “Look Into My Eyes”. Full disclosure is that I have only read excerpts of both.) “Mind Play”, refreshingly, is about hypnokink, for the hypnokinky, by a hypnokinkster.

And you know what? I'm really happy with that. Much of the instruction I've read spends quite a bit of time rationalizing why someone might want to incorporate trancing into their sex lives. But here, it's presupposed that because you have your hands on this book you are interested in and even turned on by erotic hypnosis. What a concept! It was about time someone addressed our little (big!) niche... that is where I see most of the demand for education. As a bonus, I didn't have to sit through 10 pages of “Ever wanted to make your lover orgasm with the snap of your fingers???”

As far as the content goes, it almost goes without saying that beginners will be learning a lot here; it's aimed towards them! Concepts that I don't usually see in “intro to hypnosis” material (such as modalities, indirect language, NLP-esque phrasing, etc) are covered as well, and Wiseguy knows how to make the journey down the rabbit-hole accessible to those with no prior background.

Readers with previous experience will be familiar with most if not all of the subject matter he covers (namely the “101” section), though I found it quite beneficial to see exactly how he presents the material and what else he has to say about it. There is something to be said for reviewing the basics... from someone with a very creative mind.

I was quite pleased as well with the fact that Wiseguy approaches most everything from the context of BDSM, and terms and safety protocol known to much of the kink community as a whole are explained for those unfamiliar with them. It's used as a connecting framework, no more and no less, so vanilla-identified individuals won't be alienated by obtuse vocabulary or unrelatable situations. But it does provide some (already existing) necessary starting grounds for ethics and practicality. (I was particularly satisfied with the “Safety When Looking For A Partner” section; I never see enough of these.)

Aside from the “101” stuff, the book is filled with some awesome scene ideas and how to apply newfound knowledge in a practical context. The variety is quite novel – from BDSM-related (rope and bondage and floggers, oh my!) to how-to-make-your-vanilla-sex-better to mind control tropes and common fantasies (like dolls and freezeplay). The elements therein are explored in such a way that the core concepts are outlined (and sample scripts are provided and analyzed), but Wiseguy encourages the reader to do it the way they want to and provides them with the means and know-how to do so.

Absolutely nowhere is it written to go out and read the script to one's significant other – very much the opposite. That's a “win” in my book.

...His book. You get the idea.

There were a lot of fantastic ideas in there; some refreshingly new to me! There is of course discussion on how exactly to make your lover orgasm at the snap of your fingers, but there's also a whole lot of creative and original suggestions (beaten-to-death-pun intended). Enough attention was given to each scene and I was quite impressed with the breadth of knowledge that was included (in general and especially in a book for beginners).

And, you know... a lot of it was pretty hot, too.

–

The final verdict is that I walked away from the book with a sense of enrichment, glee, and the fact that I had learned a few things and gotten inspiration to stash in my brain for later. For beginners (and even those with marginal experience), I can't recommend this book nearly enough. More seasoned hypnotists will probably pick up a thing or two as well. Get it, read it; spread the goodwill, cheer and mind control.

Happy trancing!

NEEHU 4: Thursday

NEEHU 4: Thursday

This series will be my magnum opus of kink.

This post is preceded chronologically by the prologue.

Only posted 3 months later, almost to the day... I'm looking at you, people that joked it would be a 6 month wait!

–

Thursday, March 14^th, 9:30 pm

–

I pull into a spot at the hotel and scramble for my phone, hastily, even as I put the car into park.

First, I text SpiralTurquoise (Spiral! Who-was-the-first-person-I-ever-really-talked-to!) to tell him that I'm there. He had texted me when he arrived.

And then I shuffle through my contacts, press the “call” button, and Mephki (Mephki! Who-runs-the-con-and-who-I-haven't-seen-in-a-year!) says, “suite 611,” after we exchange hellos. So I drag my luggage out of my backseat, fumbling with the keys when I go to lock the door. The wheels of my suitcase bump merrily against the pavement as I set off, and my pace threatens to throw it off course.

I'm here. The night air is chilly, but the hotel looming above me promises warmth.

Waking Up With William

Original MC fiction, yay! I wanted more hypnosis writing in my life. (yes I'm working on NEEHU too) While these pieces can be read as stand-alones, this features the same characters (and similar tone) from “Cookie Break”.

(mc, mf, md)

--

Waking up with William was, a lot of the time, a source of many fond memories for her. He had this habit of latching onto her with his whole body to try to keep her in bed if she was making to get up. And sometimes he would wake her up by stroking her hair, letting her come back to the warm, tangled sheets and the odd sock slowly, on her own time. Usually, they would have segmented, murmuring pillowtalk before one or both of them had to get out of bed. Waking up next to William meant that Nicole could go through her day and smile when she thought back on it.

Of course, quite often he was also a nuisance, as was expected. Nicole would sometimes startle awake and curl away from him at the feeling of a tongue on her cheek for no apparent reason. William also had a tendency to kick her gently at 5 am every once in a while; he always insisted he was asleep, but she in turn didn't always believe him. But they would always share a quiet laugh, or at the very least, a wry, playful, caffeine-deprived smile.

But then, sometimes, he would wake her up just to lead her back to sleep.

On Pain, featuring a snippet from That Time He Broke Me

I know this isn't the NEEHU posts yet... but I have been writing! And I wanted to update. Might be worth noting here that I always have safewords.

--

It is very, very easy to write about hypnosis. With hypnosis, I know how to get the desired response out of my reader. It is the response I got out of myself. I know how to put into words the mindset and the sensations and the state of being. It is familiar; it is enjoyable.

It is very, very hard to write about pain.

The descriptors I use become meaningless words on a page, pixels on a screen. “Pain” does no justice to the way I'm made to scream when I'm hit, the way the impact burns and the way that sensation overwhelms me. I am left unsatisfied when I read over the snippets of my masochistic scenes. There is simply no written comparison to how the fear grips at me and holds me shaking in desperation.

I fixate, in my mind, on those tiny moments when everything is too real, when those countless blows that have come before have left me an absolute mess, twisting away in terror, aching and sore.

There is no way I can express how utterly sincerely I beg for it to stop; there is no way I can express how it feels when my pleas are ignored.

I do not yet know how to write about the tears, how to explain what it feels like when I am so helpless and abused out of my control that there is nothing left for me to do but cry. Nothing can compare to that moment of realization; panicked, desperate, defeated.

Broken.

It is hard to accept that I can't make my words on pain as accessible as my words on pleasure. I'm left to close my eyes and dig my nails into my palm and replay the scene in my mind. Intensity is lost when I put those thoughts down. The ability to relate is lost when I put those thoughts down.

It is very, very hard to show why I like to be hurt.

But I will keep trying.

--

Snippet follows.

NEEHU 4: Aftershocks

(Posted a bit later over here. Relevant more to attendees, but relevant nonetheless.)

I need to write something quick before I start on properly logging this weekend.

As I type, it's 3:00 am on Monday morning, and I'm sitting in my bed at home (which is both at home and also a bed, two things that I had forgotten existed). I have gotten about 11 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. I haven't gone to bed yet.

I want to express gratitude and joy to an immeasurable amount of people, but I know that as soon as I thank anyone, I will forget someone.

(But I absolutely have to say thank you to all of the Society members who open, close, clean, cook for, and tend to the space that I've grown to love so much. The members who do that every weekend. I got a very condensed experience of doing all of that, and I have taken the work that you all do for granted. So thank you, and keep on rocking this place. Enlist me for help if you ever need it.)

--

But this isn't a "thank-you" post. This is a "NEEHU 4 is over" post. This is a "holy shit, there's a world outside of the hypnokink community?!" post. This is a "so... when's NEEHU 5 again?" post.

I hate to sound cliche (not really), but it was pretty much everything I dreamed it would be, and more. I got to provide service to the community (my community) in what felt like very significant ways by cooking for everyone; by opening and setting up and closing down the space for everyone.

And of course, there was the con itself, and yes, how incredible and exciting that was. Panels and lectures abound. The atmosphere. The feeling of openness and camaraderie and just being plain comfortable in my own skin. Quite literally, in many cases. I got to meet and talk to and even trance with people I very, very much admire, whether I've known their names for years or for days. I got to soak in the expertise of community leaders; I never stopped learning and listening.

It was an honor. Everything. Every moment, from slicing cucumbers to discussing hypnokinky issues and theory, to speaking on a panel, to streaking down the hall with my partner in crime, to showing up an hour early to clean, to having my brain messed with by some of those I quite look up to.

--

It's 3:18 am now. This bed feels too much like a bed. This apartment feels too unlike a hotel room. I miss my friends. I want to get breakfast with all of you tomorrow and make thinly-veiled trancey innuendo when perhaps we really shouldn't.

Goodnight everyone. I hope you all had as much fun as I did. But I'm sure you didn't.

NEEHU 4: A Retrospective Prologue

Two years ago, after some years of on-and-off lurking erotic hypnosis groups and mind control porn sites, I stumbled upon the existence of something called “NEEHU”, where pervy people – just like me – got together for a weekend of trancey fun. I was familiar with the “big names”; all of the well-known internet handles I knew would go and congregate for this one event.

I said to myself, after reading various accounts and downloading some new hypnotic mp3, “Hey, maybe someday you'll go and have a grand old time. Maybe someday you'll meet all these people; maybe someday you'll be able to talk about this weird interest of yours.” It was a fantasy back then – and indeed I treated it as such, writing small, personal stories about what visiting an erotic hypnosis convention/conference would be like, thinking about how much fun that would be. Some small part of me knew I'd never actually go. How could I? I was going to take this secret to my grave. And then I went back to MCStories to schlick to my heart's content.

But here's the thing:

NEEHU 4 is in just a few days.

I am on the attendee list.

I am going to be volunteering to help with the con.

I will be speaking at a panel.

...I think back on these last two years fondly; I think of how far I've come in such a short amount of time; how many people I've had the good fortune to meet and play with; how much I've been able to accomplish, as a subject and a 'tist, in Real Life. It's humbling beyond belief.

And I think back on that young, terrified girl, not able to even say the word “hypnosis” without stuttering and blushing, and I just smile, and think of how lucky I am.

NEEHU 4 is in a few days. NEEHU 4 is held at the dungeon I've been frequenting for the last half of a year. NEEHU 4 is being set up by someone I've met and scened with. NEEHU 4 is going to be attended by many people I've met, online and offline.

I am truly blessed.

I am beyond ecstatic.

Expect updates.

- sg

The Time I Finally Felt Comfortable Saying I Was a Masochist (and Other Memories)

I was hesitant to put this up. None of this has to do with hypnosis, though the usual suspects (AmHypnotic and MentalConfetti, namely) were around. I'm certain trancey fun happened that night, but that's not what this blog is about. This blog is about my masochistic side, and I'll warn that it was one of the most intense scenes (emotionally and physically) I've ever had in that respect.

It was Halloween.

To be more accurate, it was 10/27/12.

Imagine, if you would, what you might think a BDSM dungeon normally looks like... Lights a bit dimmed, shining on all sorts of equipment; tools, interesting furniture scattered around the main space; chains, boards studded with O-rings, St. Andrew's crosses... Much of it follows a black-and-red theme; a little bit stereotypical, just for the fun of it.

Now imagine what that dungeon would look like when all decked out for a Halloween party.

I was in the Misty costume I made 3 years ago (and used almost every year since). Almost everyone else was dressed appropriately as well. The space was buzzing with activity and excitement, Halloween-themed scenes left and right, and candy was our main source of sustenance.

DaSade and I got to have quite a bit of fun that night.

Boston Invasion, Or, the Six-and-a-Half-Page-Scene

Getting blog posts out without obsessing over them too much is always a goal. So when I started writing this night down and was 3 pages but less than halfway through the first scene, I decided we'd focus on that. Also, the NEXT Boston Invasion event is coming up, and I figured I should get the one from FOUR MONTHS AGO out of the way before going. :)

10/6/12. Just a week after our incredible, extended shenanigans from Photo Night (and the sleepover with AmHypnotic and MentalConfetti the night before) was an event at Our Local Dungeon(TM) called “Boston Invasion”, where kinksters from the scene came down in droves (read: tens) for a night of play and activities. I knew it was going to be well-attended, and DaSade (a member on the board, who I'd played with before) had asked me, a while beforehand, if I wanted to help provide entertainment for the night.

Namely, he was looking for someone to be a “victim” in a predicament bondage scene that was to be a “dinner show” of sorts for the guests.

When I got the invitation from him, I think I had to bite my lip around a squee. A predicament bondage show? My kinky, exhibitionist self was overjoyed at the idea. I accepted readily, and so, we began to make plans.

Cookie Break

I wanted a story. It didn't exist yet, so I wrote it. :) I was very much in the mood for a little bit of porny and a little bit of happy, so that's what this is. It's a little bit longer than the original pieces I've written before, coming in at ~1800 words, and as such, it's slightly less straight-up-porn. I hope you enjoy it.

(MF, MD, hypnosis)

--

The night was a blur up to that point, quite literally – something told her that her head had been so thoroughly messed with that nothing, save perhaps a few words from him, would clear the fog.