NEEHU 4: Aftershocks

(Posted a bit later over here. Relevant more to attendees, but relevant nonetheless.)

I need to write something quick before I start on properly logging this weekend.

As I type, it's 3:00 am on Monday morning, and I'm sitting in my bed at home (which is both at home and also a bed, two things that I had forgotten existed). I have gotten about 11 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. I haven't gone to bed yet.

I want to express gratitude and joy to an immeasurable amount of people, but I know that as soon as I thank anyone, I will forget someone.

(But I absolutely have to say thank you to all of the Society members who open, close, clean, cook for, and tend to the space that I've grown to love so much. The members who do that every weekend. I got a very condensed experience of doing all of that, and I have taken the work that you all do for granted. So thank you, and keep on rocking this place. Enlist me for help if you ever need it.)

--

But this isn't a "thank-you" post. This is a "NEEHU 4 is over" post. This is a "holy shit, there's a world outside of the hypnokink community?!" post. This is a "so... when's NEEHU 5 again?" post.

I hate to sound cliche (not really), but it was pretty much everything I dreamed it would be, and more. I got to provide service to the community (my community) in what felt like very significant ways by cooking for everyone; by opening and setting up and closing down the space for everyone.

And of course, there was the con itself, and yes, how incredible and exciting that was. Panels and lectures abound. The atmosphere. The feeling of openness and camaraderie and just being plain comfortable in my own skin. Quite literally, in many cases. I got to meet and talk to and even trance with people I very, very much admire, whether I've known their names for years or for days. I got to soak in the expertise of community leaders; I never stopped learning and listening.

It was an honor. Everything. Every moment, from slicing cucumbers to discussing hypnokinky issues and theory, to speaking on a panel, to streaking down the hall with my partner in crime, to showing up an hour early to clean, to having my brain messed with by some of those I quite look up to.

--

It's 3:18 am now. This bed feels too much like a bed. This apartment feels too unlike a hotel room. I miss my friends. I want to get breakfast with all of you tomorrow and make thinly-veiled trancey innuendo when perhaps we really shouldn't.

Goodnight everyone. I hope you all had as much fun as I did. But I'm sure you didn't.

NEEHU 4: A Retrospective Prologue

Two years ago, after some years of on-and-off lurking erotic hypnosis groups and mind control porn sites, I stumbled upon the existence of something called “NEEHU”, where pervy people – just like me – got together for a weekend of trancey fun. I was familiar with the “big names”; all of the well-known internet handles I knew would go and congregate for this one event.

I said to myself, after reading various accounts and downloading some new hypnotic mp3, “Hey, maybe someday you'll go and have a grand old time. Maybe someday you'll meet all these people; maybe someday you'll be able to talk about this weird interest of yours.” It was a fantasy back then – and indeed I treated it as such, writing small, personal stories about what visiting an erotic hypnosis convention/conference would be like, thinking about how much fun that would be. Some small part of me knew I'd never actually go. How could I? I was going to take this secret to my grave. And then I went back to MCStories to schlick to my heart's content.

But here's the thing:

NEEHU 4 is in just a few days.

I am on the attendee list.

I am going to be volunteering to help with the con.

I will be speaking at a panel.

...I think back on these last two years fondly; I think of how far I've come in such a short amount of time; how many people I've had the good fortune to meet and play with; how much I've been able to accomplish, as a subject and a 'tist, in Real Life. It's humbling beyond belief.

And I think back on that young, terrified girl, not able to even say the word “hypnosis” without stuttering and blushing, and I just smile, and think of how lucky I am.

NEEHU 4 is in a few days. NEEHU 4 is held at the dungeon I've been frequenting for the last half of a year. NEEHU 4 is being set up by someone I've met and scened with. NEEHU 4 is going to be attended by many people I've met, online and offline.

I am truly blessed.

I am beyond ecstatic.

Expect updates.

- sg